Blake Griffin and Kevin Love are lockout professionals

If you like monochromatic shirts and the old man who flashed his (very saggy) ass in The Hangover, you’re going to love this “Lockout Professionals” sketch co-starring Blake Griffin and Kevin Love. And Tyson Chandler. And Adrian Peterson. And Ron ArMetta World Peace. It debuted Wednesday night at the ESPYs. Take a look.

Personally, I wish Blake and Kevin had just done another Jenga sketch. The first one was funny as hell. This sketch wasn’t bad though. A little too Tim Duncan-Grant Hillish for my taste but enjoyable nonetheless.

What did you think?

Assist, SLAM.

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Jenga junkies Blake Griffin and Kevin Love behind the scenes at the ESPYs

So apparently Blake Griffin and Kevin Love are best buds. They wear matching Hanes t-shirts and have fun with reporters and engage in epic Jenga battles in backstage ESPYs rooms in scenes reminiscent of a cooler version of Entourage. Only the outtakes. At least that’s what this video reminds me of. Watch below.

Before watching this clip I would have bet anything that Blake Griffin would win this Jenga matchup. I mean, he’s Blake Griffin. He never loses, right? You have to hand it to Love, though. He played a flawless game. His best performance since the 30-30 game if you ask me.

Assist, CBS’ Eye on Basketball.

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Jan Vesely gets some draft day love

Most NBA prospects get to enjoy a congratulations from friends and a hug with mom after hearing their name called by David Stern. Not Jan Vesely. He got half a makeout session with girlfriend Eva Viteckova, who plays on the Czech women’s national team, when the Wizards called his name sixth overall.

Taking his game to even greater heights, Vesely then made his way over and proposed to ESPN’s Heather Cox while the PA system blasted “Down on Bended Knee.” Okay, you’re right. That didn’t happen. Stern would have had him killed for that. But you can imagine it from a guy like Vesely, right?

The European Blake Griffin? More like the Czechoslovakian Shawn Kemp.

Assist, Black Sports Online.

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Ron Artest will soon be known as Metta World Peace

Most people are content to talk about world peace as an abstract concept, something to aim for without really trying. Not Ron Artest. That guy’s putting his money where his mouth is when it comes to peace on Earth. Or maybe it’s his credit card info. What’s the preferred method of payment for a name change these days?

Yes, that’s right. In a short while, Ron Artest will no longer be known as “Ron Artest.” Or even “The Artest Formerly Known as Ron Artest.” The Lakers forward has filed official paperwork to change his name to “Metta World Peace.”

From TMZ:

Yes, Ron is going the way of Cassius Clay, Lew Alcindor and Chad Johnson.  Ron’s filed a petition in L.A. County Superior Court to change his name to — World Peace.

FYI, metta means loving, kindness, happiness and all that jazz.

We’re told Ron wants to put the new last name — Peace — on the back of his L.A. Lakers’ jersey.

Peace on the back of a Lakers jersey is a longtime dream of Phil Jackson’s — he’s been hoping for that since the days of Shaq & Kobe — but Artest is more likely to see himself in a “Traded Away From the Lakers” jersey these days than a “Metta World Peace” joint. His contract ($20 million over the next three years) and production (8.5 pts, 3.3 reb per game) make him a prime candidate to get shipped out of town.

Sorry, Ron-Ron fans. That’s just the reality. Look on the bright side, though. At least he’ll get free admission to Grateful Dead shows from here on out.

Bill Walton, I think you’ve just found a new road trip partner.

Assist, Larry Brown Sports.

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Dwight Howard embraces inner Rodman on Spanish television

I’m not sure what Dwight Howard was trying to accomplish with this appearance on El Hormiguero, but the fans seemed to like it. Howard came onto the set of the Spanish talk show wearing a flamboyant red wig, a la Rihanna.

The fun starts at the 2:30 mark, when Dwight comes out to loud applause and gets his salsa on. The show gets progressively stranger from there. See below.

Before we know it, Dwight will be wearing wedding dresses like Dennis Rodman and showing up naked on the cover of magazines. Oh wait, he already did that

Assist, Cosby Sweaters.

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Mark Cuban shuts down lawsuit with hilarious brief

Ross Perot Jr. and Hillwood Investment Properties Ltd. should have seen this coming. Perot Jr., who owns a 5 percent stake in the Dallas Mavericks, filed a lawsuit in 2010 alleging that Mark Cuban was mismanaging the team and that the Mavericks were the “worst franchise” in professional sports.

That statement in and of itself is ludicrous — few owners put as much time and money into their sports franchises as Cuban. But it’s even more ridiculous when you take into account the Mavericks’ recent championship.

On Wednesday, Perot Jr. and Hillwood received Cuban’s glorious response: “Scoreboard. Bitch.”

Well, that’s not exactly the wording Cuban’s lawyer used in the brief filed in the district court of Dallas County. But once you work around the legalize, the meaning is basically the same. We won a championship. That’s the opposite of mismanagement. Have fun staring at this photo of us celebrating as you weep into your bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats.

For the record, I do not know that Ross Perot Jr. eats Frosted Mini Wheats for breakfast. I do know, however, that the lawsuit he filed is about to be tossed out of court faster than you can say “Franklin & Bash.”

Sorry, Perot family. Looks like another loss.

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Soon Maloofs will own just 2% of the Palms

Shocking report in Saturday’s Sacramento Bee. According to documents filed with the Nevada Gaming Control Board, the Maloof family is in the midst of a deal that will significantly decrease their holding in the Palms casino in Las Vegas.

And by significantly decrease, I mean take it below 5 percent. The details, courtesy of Bee reporter Dale Kasler:

The Maloof family will soon own just 2 percent of the Palms Casino, its trendy Las Vegas property, according to regulatory documents filed in Nevada.

The revelation comes just days after George Maloof, who runs the resort and is a co-owner of the Sacramento Kings, confirmed that his family had given up majority control of the casino and hotel, on which it spent about half a billion dollars over the past decade. At the time, he would not specify the size of the family’s remaining ownership stake.

In an interview late Thursday, Maloof said the family could regain a more significant share – up to 20 percent – under buyback options granted by the creditors who are taking control.

The Maloofs’ most recognizable asset is, of course, the Sacramento Kings. But the Palms is a massive part of their identity. The casino was their trump card, their badge of cool. They developed strategic friendships, including relationships with Michael Phelps and Mark Sanchez, based on it. They even filmed a Carl’s Jr. commercial in it.

The $6,000 Hardee’s burger. The fans in Sac weren’t too happy about that one.

Now an era is coming to an end. The Maloofs may remain the face of the Palms, but financially it will belong to creditors. Specifically, TPG Capital and Leonard Green & Partners.

The family is framing this deal as a good thing, an erasure of debt burden. Really, though, it’s just another sign that the Maloof kingdom is crashing down, brick by brick. What’s that quote about families rising and falling in America? That’s Scorsese, right?

As long as the Playboy club is around, I don’t care who owns the Palms. I just hope the Maloofs don’t drag the Kings down on their way to the bottom.

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Ricky Rubio gets celebrity welcome in Minnesota

He showed up looking more like a bearded Jim Caviezel than a member of the Beatles, but Ricky Rubio got a rock star welcome anyway upon his arrival in Minnesota. A crowd of about 200 fans and media members greeted the 20-year-old Spanish sensation as he exited the airport.

Rubio was happy to shake hands and sign autographs (even if they were autographs for blatant memorabilia hounds, like the guy in the red Texas Rangers hat). See video below.

What exactly he’ll be able to do for the Timberwolves on the court is an unknown at this point, but the attention Rubio is garnering among fans is certainly a positive for the franchise. In other words, David Kahn finally did something right for a change.

Assist, SB Nation.

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Kevin Durant goes ham with off-the-backboard Drew League dunk

Kevin Durant! So vicious. Somewhere Tracy McGrady is grinning at this one.

For those unfamiliar with the Drew League, it’s a competitive summer league based in Los Angeles. Paul Pierce, Baron Davis and Brandon Jennings are among the NBA stars who have competed there in the past. For a full history of Drew League, click here.

“Go Ham” is the name of Durant’s summer league team if you’re interested why it’s on the back of his jersey.

Assist, I am a GM.

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The Cavs are taking Kyrie Irving No. 1 overall

Well, that takes the mystery out of things.

The Cleveland Cavaliers, who had previously been coy about their intentions for the No. 1 overall pick, announced Monday that they’ll be taking Duke point guard Kyrie Irving over Arizona forward Derrick Williams in Thursday’s draft.

From ESPN.com:

The Cavaliers, after taking the temperature of the Timberwolves and Jazz to see if Kyrie Irving could somehow fall to No. 4 in Thursday’s NBA draft, are now committed to the former Duke guard as the No. 1 pick and are fielding offers for the fourth pick, league sources said Monday.

In a perfect world for the Cavs, they would draft Irving and former Arizona forward Derrick Williams, which is why they were also interested in dealing for the second pick.

Analysts often refer to the early stages of the draft as psychological warfare, with team executives doing everything they can — including feeding misinformation to the media — to mask their intentions. This doesn’t feel like a ploy, though. Given what’s happened this year in Cleveland, the last thing the organization wants to do is deceive its fans. And this would be deception of the highest order.

So, it’s Kyrie Irving and, most likely, Enes Kanter — Kanter is in Cleveland for a second workout as we speak — for the Cavs. Not exactly the talent-maximizing gamble I was hoping for (Williams and Brandon Knight would have been the better play in my opinion). But Irving will definitely be a good NBA player for years to come.

As for Williams, he’s likely to land in Minnesota, according to the same ESPN report. The Timberwolves reportedly have no interest in trading Michael Beasley or Anthony Randolph, creating a logjam of talent at the forward positions. Oh well, I’m sure David Kahn will won’t figure it out.

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